since monday... i have had no types of solid food. i have barely been able to ingest electrolytes. but its midnight and my fever is lowered to 103. hope i wake up better...

Sick of being sick.

Last night i literally sweated the entire night, i woke up in cold shivers, but i managed to somehow get up and try to get ready for work, but while there, i realized, i couldn't do it,so my manager came out of the hallways and i once again was in shivers and in cold sweat. My co worker isabel took me to the pharmacy to get some remedies and i was later brought home, im waking up every 2 hours, but i hope my fever goes away soon.

:(

Love.Love.Love.

-Linda Cruz

Eerie..

I chose this photo for the day because though it is out of focus, i don't think i have ever seen las vegas blvd so clear, could have been the rain, Ha. It was lovely.

Love.Love.Love

-Linda Cruz

Suite Warmth.

This sickness was dragging, i could barely breathe my chest hurt and my fever ran a bit high... So we stayed in the suite with a hot Jacuzzi and football, while it rained on LV boulevard.

Love.Love.Love

-Linda Cruz

Candid.

Though i have been sick, Jason was getting married, so we came to Vegas for the nuptials, I think you could feel the vibe of Americans on this day, firetrucks were at ever corner, and billboards showcased and specified the date, "10 years" THEY said.

Have a good one.

Love.Love.Love.

Linda Cruz

Drive to Vegas....

He had a hangover, and we hadn't even gotten to Vegas.

Sighs.  <3

i love this man so much.

oh I love that song, the fugees.

<3

Our own hero.

I wanted to shoot this specific photo for a number of reasons, i think mostly because it is how i have felt for a bit of time. I believe we are our own problem, as well as our own solution. I have realized the more I try to explain a situation to someone, or explain myself, the more useless it becomes. i am the only one who can understand completely because i am the only one feeling it at the moment, BASICALLY, only we can understand ourselves. Only we can help ourselves. 

Become your own hero, understand yourself before understanding others.

Love.Love.Love

xoxo

Linda Cruz


p.s Thanks to my friend Angel for helping me shoot this. Check out his blog!!

Sniffles, some cough, and writing.

HIIIII THERE!! oh HOW I have missed this thing! I'm back on this project, i have been gone because to be quite honest i went through a period with no inspiration that i couldn't seem to do this project properly, so i stopped doing it altogether. But like i said, im BACK, and im determined to finish 365, i have also gained alot of INSPIRATION LATELY. ;) I am currently in the process of uploading photos and showing what i have been up to. Visit me soon. :)

This is my photo for the day...

I woke up with the most awful fever and headache, my entire BODY hurts. I was let off of work early last night due to me blacking out in the backroom (so embarrassing) , and i was suppose to rest, but i think the more I try to rest, the more I am unable to do so, so i stopped trying, i don't know what's wrong with me, i just hope it goes away soon.

Love. Love. Love.

Linda Cruz

Ask for help.

In a time of need..i believe my brothers have helped me the most with this event.

i don't know what i would do without them.

<3

Change.

I feel quite sad i have not been able to update this as much as possible...but here goes. This day changed my life forever. Fear..sadness..anger..all in a possible tornado of one. and as i look back i realize anything that may have happened may not be put on a blame as a single ..but as a variety of events that may have led to it. Of course we all change..some for the best..some for the worst..in quite a turn of events..this made me change in a way  i simply cannot describe. My heart felt broken..as my soul did also. I felt like the calls i made this night simply rang and rang..and at the end of the day maybe it was for the best..sometimes they say things happen for a reason..maybe i was meant to be alone this night..i  just wish i could've done something better. i never thought i could be happy to hear such news..and torn to hear another set of news. im doing whatever possible to mend my body..and my mind..as well as my heart. Some people can hurt others in amounts unbearable..and through that is a kind of stubbornness that makes me feel like i could this alone...i can go through anything..alone...i will heal alone. it takes courage..and i'm proud of the work i have accomplished and the people surrounding me. In one of my darkest moments..i found a light..and i will one day heal completely. What nourishes me..also destroys me. Live..Love..change..i'm simply adapting...and in nature..adapting to change..helps one survive.

<3

Day 107. Sharing something.

 Look..there is Laker fans everywhere. :o :)

My brother and his best friend went to San Fran this weekend to check out a few bands.one of which was Two Door Cinema Club (check them out!) .he came home today with all these pictures of his trip..I have never been there..but i am planning to go sometime soon.

It seems lovely!

I hope he had fun :)

Love.Love.Love

-Linda Cruz

Day 106. Death of a beauty.

Like any beautiful thing in this world..if something is not taken care of properly..it withers..and dies..

such thing happened to my beautiful flower from yesterday.

Good thing theres more where those came from.

Love.Love.Love

-Linda Cruz

Day 105. Beauty..

These are BRUGMANSIAS. Beautiful..smell delicious..and also very deadly..poisounous..and toxic.

It can be used as a hallucinogenic drug..for its narcotic effects..but it is also fatal. Careful.

Natives would use them for shamanic intoxication.

 from Colombia..to Chile..and i was given one in California. :)

Believe me..when i say they are beautiful..the smell..is incredible.

I suppose who i received them from was incredible also.
i had like a bazillion questions about them.
So now that i know..you know also.
:)

Love.Love.Love

-Linda Cruz



p,s, i had a great great great day today. did i already say that?

Day 104. Find different places..new people.

This is a fishbowl.

FISHBOWL.

Strong..strong..oh so strong.

Goodness.

Try diff things.

Eh.

These chicks were pretty mellow.

Love.Love.Love

-Linda Cruz

Day 103. The truth is..

That you can't really cover the sun with your fingers..you can't lie to yourself..and say something is okay when its not..that you're okay..when you're not.

That fairies exist..and whatever nonsense.

Let's just let time go.

Let's just live.

<3

Love.Love.Love

-Linda Cruz

Day 102. Clarity.

The day after..a storm..is always much clearer..and it today's case..it's insanely beautiful.

<3 <3

aren't they amazing beautiful?.

Love.Love.Love

-Linda Cruz

Day 101. April 11..i will never forget you.

this morning i felt completely numb....hanging by some sort of invisible thread..by the end of the night..i couldn't feel more alive. I felt more alive than i have in years.

From completely tearing my heart apart..waking up..driving..talks with brother...feeling music so loud..i could feel my bones shake..front row seats to an insane car crash on a California Highway..everything happening in slow motion..one of the longest conversations in my life after..and ending in the above place..absolutely..crazy.

I'm incredibly lucky. I'm incredibly blessed.

These past 24 hours..have completely changed me.

Love.Love.Love

-Linda Cruz

Day 100. Thoughts.

i just want to fly..fly..fly away.

Love.Love.Love

-Linda Cruz

Day 99. A meaning.

i'm not a dreamer..im a doer..

careful what you reap Jack.

Love.Love.Love

-Linda Cruz

Day 98. Ink

Some people have asked me..why did i get this tattoo? Why such a sad lyric? To be honest its how i feel towards life. Joy Division's famous words..."Love will tear us apart" is so true. So raw. Though it makes you feel absolutely great at times..sometimes it just rips at your soul..that thing inside you you never knew you had..those pains you never knew existed..that shit that you thought happens to others..(heartache) happens to every one of us..it tears your walls..it tears you apart from head..to heart..to feet..
Mistakes are made..but i think the point is..that if we admit them..that's all that matters. If we fix them. Even the attempt. I think we've all been there..on our knees..praying for better days...to some questionable existence..a heart..well..
sometimes you pick up the pieces..sometimes..theres no point..sometimes you just have to keep grindin'..keep shining..at the end of the day..the love we have for ourselves..is the only one that can never tear us down. we can't live our life trying to prove others our worth..they see it..or they don't.. i don't know if i'll ever find my heart again..but The show must go on...

what goes around..comes around. careful.

Love.Love.Love.

-Linda Cruz